Dr. Pepalo
When Dr. Pepalo sees me coming, there is never a smile on his face. When Dr. Pepalo sees me coming, there is always one finger rubbing against his flannel belt. When Dr. Pepalo sees me coming, there is a moment of locked eye-contact when I dodge right and he snaps his teeth at me: so I dodge left and both his clawing hands are there with repetitious scratches in the air.
When Dr. Pepalo sees me coming, he nods his head and his beard leaves a smear of orange oil on his shirtfront. “Cheers” and we kiss like Dominicans: that is to say, we stand back-to-back and try to get fingers in each other’s mouths.
When he sees me coming I am reminded of the last time he saw me coming, and he said, “See you next time”; and now I can’t believe it is really happening, and his eyes are getting closer to my mouth, and he is looking inside, and there is a sound coming from my mouth and I realize I am singing, and when I stop he gives me a dollar and says, “Read it. Every good citizen should know what it says on his dollar.” And I laugh, but only after he starts to laugh, and then we laugh together until he grabs my neck and hisses, “I’m a big boy now, and I can laugh by myself!”
When Dr. Pepalo sees me coming, there is no evidence that he is thinking things at my shoes and wondering if they will respond to him. When Dr. Pepalo sees me coming, an astronaut gets his face slit open because some drunk hick thinks he is a “goddamn impostor” who “never even blew the stepfather of the NASA hiring manager.”
When Dr. Pepalo sees me coming, I remember he is sixty and I swing a chain toward his face to let him know it’s his time that’s a-comin’ along, not just me.
When Dr. Pepalo sees me coming, I always want to tell him that his fly is zipped nice and tight, unlike mine. When he sees me coming, I try to detain him with a squirt-gun full of mouth wash, and we gleefully wash each other’s mouths like the children of dentists.
When Dr. Pepalo sees me coming, I always wave too soon and then when he finally looks my hand is down and it seems like I never waved at all, so I throw myself before him, pretend to be a cat and see if that amuses him. When Dr. Pepalo sees me coming, he always says the exact same thing: “Choose lvxnvcuxpplpllb ld McConnell, you Xrfoxcxbcvbbblbfbr.”